[Note from CAF: I first published this on the blog on December 5, 2008. Given the current conversion of the many changes upon us, I am republishing today.]
By Catherine Austin Fitts
In 1998 I was in Washington dealing with the consequences of having stood in the way of a fraudulent housing bubble: 12 pieces of litigation, an insurance company reneging on its obligations to fund my attorneys, 18 audits and investigations by numerous federal and local agencies, a smear campaign and increasingly serious physical harassment.
To fund managing this process, I was selling and auctioning my company assets and my personal assets, including home, antiques, art, furniture and personal possessions. I watched as a life time of friends and network turned on me or turned away from me.
As the pile on of attacks from all sides grew, I realized that the chances of my surviving were growing increasingly slim. Sobered by this realization, I decided I would research who had been targeted in this manner and what had happened. Who had survived and who had not? Why? What could I learn from their experience that would help me in dealing with a similar situation?
I discovered that I was in a process that could drive a person mad or into a state of anger that would cause them to become physically sick, to lose their capacity to think and operate clearly and to alienate those who wanted to or were willing to help. In short, targeted people were failing physically, mentally and socially as a result of their inability to manage their anger. Their own anger was poisoning them. Their enemies had found a way to make their target their most valuable ally by getting them to destroy themselves.
The stories of the physical disabilities that had resulted as a result of the anger and stress were particularly gruesome. Sobered, I made a commitment to not let the anger that serves as invaluable navigation tool in my life become an anger that would poison me physically or mentally.
I committed to attract a future defined by love, rather than defined by anger.
I did a very serious assessment of my situation. Could I see this litigation through in the face of the smear and harassment? Did I have the capacity to do so? I concluded that I had the physical stamina, the courage, the intellect and the training to do so. I was prepared to liquidate all of my assets and to live modestly.
However, I did not know if I could endure the process and retain my capacity to love. I decided that my goal was to use the litigation to serve my original purpose — to emerge with real solutions for the challenges that were coming as a result of the financial coup d’etat underway — and with my personal capacity to love strengthened.
As I now watch those around me struggle with the deterioration of our economy and culture, I encourage you to consider these issues. What does it take for you to survive and thrive? How can you protect and build your energy in the face of the challenges underway and ahead? What is the purpose to which you are called? Whom do you love and serve?
If I can presume to give you advice, it would be to quote St. Paul, “let not the sun go down on your anger.”
Catherine… when I listen to you speak in public forums, YouTube at the Barter Conference, C2Cam, etc… the substance of your decision to handle the adversity and trials of your experience in the way you articulated above is, literally, tangible. That is incredibly powerful.
Of all the folks out there who are speaking with truth and clarity about what is going on, NO ONE has the power and authority of hopefulness that you engender in your discussion of current events, and the solutions you are trying to put out there to regular folks in “Anytown, Planet Earth”.
You are, my dear woman, literally an Angel. Inspired, courageous, unshrinking, and extraordinarily non-judgmental, even when speaking of the wrong doing of others.
Your take on things literally pushes people from fear to fact, and then towards local actionable solutions.
These 2 questions you propose: “What is the purpose to which you are called? Whom do you love and serve?”
…they are the golden questions that speak right to the heart of our current global circumstance.
Do we serve self centered fear… the seed of doubt and disaster… the offspring of a perception of a “universe that is eternally half empty”, and the raw material of “centralized fear based control mechanisms”.
Or do we serve the Love Centered Self, that dormant antidote for all the empty consumption, neurosis and manufactured desire of the modern age. That thread that connects all of us together, and always has?
As of late, when I describe your work to others, and your focus on building out solutions and systems at the local level, all it takes is for me to mention, and then define… The Popsicle Index. All the lights come on for folks.
I confess, I have been very afraid of the coming changes in our economic weather forecast.
I listened to one of your interviews, and realized I just needed to make the move to Lawrence Kansas, where there is already a powerful local organic farming infrastructure, very well developed community mentality, and a very vocal local citizenry.
I’ve been talking about moving there for years… and every time I’m there I’m rejuvenated… and yet I just couldn’t make the move.
I’m planning my move now, and I’m going to get busy, getting the solution of loving decentralized local economic systems out there to as many folks as possible.
A disaster in our current economic system, may be the neccesary event to move us towards healing our country, culture, cities and neighborhoods, in hopeful life affirming ways.
I don’t like change, unless it’s change I thought about myself. I see this as an exciting opportunity for our collective futures, provided we have courage, loving kindness, and firm resolve, even in the face of the darkness of ignorance.
Please keep up your brilliant and inspiring work Catherine, and let me know what I can do to help.
Is the title “Let Not the Sun Go Down on Your Anger” a bible verse or something? I seem to have heard it before.
Thanks so much Catherine for sharing your advice and experience. Believe me I cannot fathom what you went through. You are a hero of mine for what you did and continue to do.
Amen,you said it well. I feel your pain. I too have been under siege for some time, take solace in the words of one who has walked that walk “Blessed are those that are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom heaven (peace of mind).
Catherine,
I am so happy that you were able to pull through and now be here to share with us. Anger is an interesting emotion, but it also an energy. I have worked with anger many ways, including prayer and therapy.
A few months ago I reached a point where nothing I did touched what I was experiencing in terms of anger and other emotions. I remembered the heart rhythm meditation (something which many people of many religions are using to get back in touch with their hearts) and I started that night to do it regularly. I am getting better. I was headed for a crash, because caring for my mother is something that is so difficult and I get really angry sometimes.
Anyway, what I have been doing recently when the “anger” comes up is to breath in through the nose reaching deep through my heart and solar plexus and then gently exhale through mouth like water pouring down deep into my heart and solar plexus. I remember that this anger is not my mother’s fault, that at the bottom of this anger is sadness usually and at the bottom of this sadness is energy that can also be felt as love. The strong my heart gets the easier it is for me to handle the anger emotion without exploding or “imploding” and stuffing it.
I am also working with using this “anger” energy as I try to transform it to do constructive things and not dump it on my mother.
I imagine there is a lot of “anger” right now in our country with all that is happening. This is a very good message for you to share at this time.
Thank you
Yvonne
Catherine, a brilliant assessment with complex awareness and depth. God Bless you, Joanna
specific webaddress from earlier post: http://www.elfis.net/elfol8/e8elfeeg1.htm
In your earlier account you mentioned harassment by electronic means. This immediately places most of us in the kook category. Unfortunately what you allege is true. I had the grace to view materials from Bob Beck when he made duplicate copies to protect himself after developing parts of the mind control technology used on Catharine. Some of those can be seen at elfis.net For those blissfully unaware of this level of corruption, it does not matter. The best defense is a still mind. If you are a Christian that helps, but others can find safety as well by developing a still mind. It is the best defense, which is why Catharine should be applauded for learning not to be angry. I suspect given her talents, this was the most difficult challenge she faced in her long ordeal. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers, and rulers of wickedness in high places, and I ain’t talkin bout no devil.